Bowie tried to save us.

I’m officially convinced that it was, in fact, David Bowie that was keeping all of the goodness in the world.  He took all of the bad and evil in the world and channeled it all to good and happy and wonder and curiosity.  And that’s why he was amazing.

See, for decades Bowie was able to take all of the evil and negative, absorb it, and turn it into, well…

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Yeah, all of that and so much more.

I believe that he tried his very hardest to do his best for human kind.  He absorbed what he bad and hate that he could.  But there was clearly too much. And it turned to cancer.  He couldn’t control it anymore.  And, yeah.

I mean, look at the world since he passed.  I don’t understand w. I’m not saying that Bowie was the last string holding shit together, I’m just saying.  We have lost his amazing glow.

We lost his beautiful metaphors and story telling about saving the world.  His many lyrical warnings and worries, that he refused to explain (See: Valentine’s Day).  Many times he tried to tell us that he had come here to save worlds and make things okay again (All the Young Dudes, StarMan, all of The Man Who Fell to Earth), but the world just wouldn’t let him.  He did everything he could to soak up the negativity and replace it with wonder.

We failed Bowie.  And now we have to suffer the consequences.  For not respecting all that Bowie did for us, that beautiful orange-haired space man was taken back to where ever he came from.  We are left with some other sort of orange-faced, hate-filled monster…It won’t end well.

Job (or Postdoc) Searches as explained by Bowie

(Because this is all there is in my head.)

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First comes the sudden realization that you are graduating at some point.  That the graduate school bubble of security will end.  Oh, and also, you have to pay back all those loans.

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But it’s okay, right?  Because through all of that schooling and training you gained awesome experience.  You know what you want and you can do it!  Who would pass up someone like you?  This is completely delusional, you just don’t know it yet.  So you start confidently sending out application after application.

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But after one or two or three dozen and no responses…

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And then you start to think there may just be something wrong with you.  Because seriously, WTF?  Are you not even worth a rejection letter?

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And you think maybe that professor that openly hated you, that you had constant mental warfare with, might have been right.  And maybe you should have taken the hints and reconsidered this a long time ago.

But then, just when you’ve finished that 5th pint of Americone Dream (because it’s inspirational ice cream), you get an interview!  And after one second of celebration, you suddenly realize that means you have to be impressive in person.  That’s really hard and sucky.

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But you try to pretend like you’re capable or something like that.  So you get all dressed up and put on your game face.

dressing

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And when you get there, you try to be all confident and shit.

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But halfway through the interview, you realize you haven’t breathed in like 10 minutes and you’re running out of ways to say “Please dear god hire me.  I will do anything.”

breathing

So that was a bust.

bowie done

(Or, I don’t know.  Some people have that confidence thing and walk out of interviews all like this:)

bowieyay!

I don’t know. I don’t get it. Is this real? Do people ever actually feel like this after interviews?

Then people want to ask you how it went.  No matter how much you try to hide from people.  Your friends and family are always going to ask how things are going.  If you’re excited for graduation.  What your plans are.  And you have no answers.  Like, at all.

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And then your friends and loved ones will try to distract you.

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Or sympathize.

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And you’re just all like:

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Because:

getting older

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Explaining Why Bowie is a Personal Hero.

My last post was very rage-full.  I almost apologize.  But that shit…that shit…

Okay, moving on to lighter topics whilst I continue to procrastinate on those dissertation revisions.

January 8th was David Bowie’s birthday and he made a big announcement:  A new album!  First one in like 10 years!  YAYYYYY!

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People that don’t actually know me may not know this, but I am a HUGE Bowie fan.  I LOVE him.  I really, honestly name him as one of my heroes and a big inspiration.  I have a Bowie tattoo; he is my dog’s namesake.  He’s amazing and fantastic and perfect!  I know this sounds weird.  I know that.  I don’t really care how much people judge me for this.  It’s their fault for not understanding.

I will, however, take this time to explain his amazing perfection.

Not to mention that amazing sexiness.

Not to mention that amazing sexiness.

Everyone knows, or should know, that Bowie is a truly amazing artist, in every sense of the word.  As a musician, an actor (you will understand if you see anything other than Labyrinth, I suggest the Man Who Fell to Earth or Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence), and an all around entertainer.  His music is impossible to separate from his personas, his appearance, and his entire presence.  He has always come as a package; there is no detail about his performances that was not thought out.

But outside of his amazing artistic presentation, what I have found to be the most intriguing and inspirational about Bowie has been his ability to change.  He represents, to me, fluidity of identity.  The idea that our past refines us, rather than defining us.  I’m certain that, looking back, Bowie thinks some of the shit he did was ridiculous.  I’m sure he has to be embarrassed by it, the clothing, the make up, the music (Yes, I’m talking about that awful duet with Mick Jagger), the drugs, etc.  But without all of those things, the ability to take those opportunities and chances and risks in the moment, he may not have gone on to create what he did later.  The ability to move on from the past, to change who you are, I think is very inspiring.  Bowie did this very literally.  He went from Ziggy Stardust to Halloween Jack, and again and again with different characters throughout his career.  He altered himself, his appearance, his style, even just slightly, with every album.  Sometimes it’s subtle, other times it’s a complete makeover, physically and musically.  Being a nerd and lover of Bowie, I have multiple versions of some of the same songs done at different times in his career and they can sound so different.  I think I have 3 versions of “The Supermen” and they are all unique.  I think the ability to revisit something done so long ago and derive a different meaning from it is powerful and rare in our current culture.  We try to leave things in the past and “move on” and “mature” rather than recognizing the necessity of reflection in the growth process.

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I suppose that means a lot to me, personally and professionally.  I’ve use the same principles working with people in mental health, showing them the possibility for growth, the ability to change and refine oneself.  In my head Bowie is there, by I know the looks I will get when I mention him, so I keep him out of it.  But personally, I think it is an important thing to learn.  Each person has their past, which may include a personality, an identity that they may no longer feel proud of.  The ability to recognize, “yes, that was me” but also say “this is how that person influence the current me” is the important part.  It’s liberating.  It admits to and accepts the past, including shame and embarrassment, but leaves room for pride in one’s self, one’s growth, and their accomplishments.

I love the art for his new album.  I think it represents the reflective process perfectly.

I love the art for his new album. I think it represents the reflective process perfectly.