January 27, 2015 Leave a comment
I’m increasingly impressed with my ability to think that I’m a complete fuck up and later find out I’m only 90% fuck up.
In hopes of getting the most out of that 10% of success in life I’ve decided to make a list of life goals.
They are these:
Get a second beagle puppy.
Get a third (and possibly fourth) beagle puppy.
Find a house in Chicago that is conducive to multiple beagles.
Find a permanent job/never be a “trainee” again.
Find a job that pays enough to maintain my lifestyle of Netflix, good bourbon, and beagles.
Not have anxious, insecurity freakouts on boyfriend (more realistic goal: decrease number of anxious, insecurity freakouts on boyfriend)
Be amazing like David Bowie.
Resist urge to read comment sections in the news.
Be able to talk to people at social gatherings (more realistic goal: decrease number of bourbons it takes to talk to people at social gatherings)
Realize that “full time” means 40 hours, not 65, 70, or 80. Also decrease caffeine intake.
Convince self that socializing isn’t death
Figure out why Ben and Jerry’s says there are 4 servings in a pint (it’s clearly 2 at best)
Ok. Plan to get life on Track: Go!