Job (or Postdoc) Searches as explained by Bowie
April 27, 2014 Leave a comment
(Because this is all there is in my head.)
But it’s okay, right? Because through all of that schooling and training you gained awesome experience. You know what you want and you can do it! Who would pass up someone like you? This is completely delusional, you just don’t know it yet. So you start confidently sending out application after application.
But after one or two or three dozen and no responses…
And then you start to think there may just be something wrong with you. Because seriously, WTF? Are you not even worth a rejection letter?
And you think maybe that professor that openly hated you, that you had constant mental warfare with, might have been right. And maybe you should have taken the hints and reconsidered this a long time ago.
But then, just when you’ve finished that 5th pint of Americone Dream (because it’s inspirational ice cream), you get an interview! And after one second of celebration, you suddenly realize that means you have to be impressive in person. That’s really hard and sucky.
But you try to pretend like you’re capable or something like that. So you get all dressed up and put on your game face.
And when you get there, you try to be all confident and shit.
But halfway through the interview, you realize you haven’t breathed in like 10 minutes and you’re running out of ways to say “Please dear god hire me. I will do anything.”
So that was a bust.
(Or, I don’t know. Some people have that confidence thing and walk out of interviews all like this:)
Then people want to ask you how it went. No matter how much you try to hide from people. Your friends and family are always going to ask how things are going. If you’re excited for graduation. What your plans are. And you have no answers. Like, at all.
And then your friends and loved ones will try to distract you.
And you’re just all like: