Taking Vaginas Back.

So my friend and I have made a calculated risk: we’re taking back vaginas.


Or we’re bring vagina back?

I don’t know.  But the point is we’ve dedicated our lives to making vaginas funny and awesome again.  I mean, they don’t need any help being awesome, but I’ve realized that some people are uncomfortable making vagina jokes or recognizing that they can be as empowering as cocks.  I not only reserve my right to use the terms “c lown hole,” “baby cannon,”  “hooha,”  and the like, but I will abuse that right (only in appropriate settings obviously).  Why?  Because guys talk about their cocks all the time!  Boyfriend and his bromance have 20 minute conversations where 50% of the words are “hard” (or as they say “hcchhchhard!”) as they erect their fists in symbolic penile glory.  It’s funny.  It’s fucking hilarious and I would never take that away from them.  

All I ask is that I can talk about my clown hole and my ovaries in the same way in the same bar/friendly casual settings.  My first stand has been to talk about ovaries in a similar fashion that men talk about their testes. In all fairness I have always done this in my head, but now I’m making it public.  I will henceforth refer to balls as “rejected ovaries.”  If those bitches were as awesome as they thought, their body wouldn’t have tried to push them out.  Vaginas are like the cool kid that just hangs out in the corner that everyone just wants to know about.  They don’t need to be all ostentatious about their shit like some genitals.  

So there it is.  Bringing vaginas back.  Spreading the love (but not the legs).  Don’t be afraid girls, you know how awesome your ladybits are!  

Image^What I imagine Paul Ryan saying to me if we ever met.  The only thing he would ever say to me.

I’m a big believer in the power of humor to open the door to social change.  When baby cannons can be a part of our shared cultural language and we can feel comfortable saying “the V word” a conversation can finally be had.



2 Responses to Taking Vaginas Back.

  1. This made me laugh so hard I almost peed my pants. Balls are rejected ovaries.

  2. Reblogged this on the anxiety and the artist and commented:
    Too funny. And super right.

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