<3 I'm not the only one fighting for Vaginas!



Taking Vaginas Back.

So my friend and I have made a calculated risk: we’re taking back vaginas.


Or we’re bring vagina back?

I don’t know.  But the point is we’ve dedicated our lives to making vaginas funny and awesome again.  I mean, they don’t need any help being awesome, but I’ve realized that some people are uncomfortable making vagina jokes or recognizing that they can be as empowering as cocks.  I not only reserve my right to use the terms “c lown hole,” “baby cannon,”  “hooha,”  and the like, but I will abuse that right (only in appropriate settings obviously).  Why?  Because guys talk about their cocks all the time!  Boyfriend and his bromance have 20 minute conversations where 50% of the words are “hard” (or as they say “hcchhchhard!”) as they erect their fists in symbolic penile glory.  It’s funny.  It’s fucking hilarious and I would never take that away from them.  

All I ask is that I can talk about my clown hole and my ovaries in the same way in the same bar/friendly casual settings.  My first stand has been to talk about ovaries in a similar fashion that men talk about their testes. In all fairness I have always done this in my head, but now I’m making it public.  I will henceforth refer to balls as “rejected ovaries.”  If those bitches were as awesome as they thought, their body wouldn’t have tried to push them out.  Vaginas are like the cool kid that just hangs out in the corner that everyone just wants to know about.  They don’t need to be all ostentatious about their shit like some genitals.  

So there it is.  Bringing vaginas back.  Spreading the love (but not the legs).  Don’t be afraid girls, you know how awesome your ladybits are!  

Image^What I imagine Paul Ryan saying to me if we ever met.  The only thing he would ever say to me.

I’m a big believer in the power of humor to open the door to social change.  When baby cannons can be a part of our shared cultural language and we can feel comfortable saying “the V word” a conversation can finally be had.


Thoughts on relational aggression

As I work on my dissertation, a question comes to mind.

First, my dissertation topic: Pre-adolescent and adolescent girls’ peer relationships from a developmental perspective.

Now, the question:  Are these girls, in their relationships living up to messages absorbed in the media rather than being who they really are in their relationships?

Now, background for my question:…

But first:  I’ve only just started data collection, so none of this reflects any of my data, only what I have seen in my painfully extensive lit review.

Ok, back to the point.

As I read through and write up the existing research, I continually find studies on relational aggression, clique behavior, throw away friendships, group dominance, girl hate, etc.  All of these terrible stereotypes of girls’ behavior.  This is not only in the research journals and scholarly works, but is in every form of media, news, movies, music, on and on.  I see this behavior on occasion when I talk to the girls I work with, but for the most part, it is not a huge part of their relationship narratives.  They value their friendships, but they also fear losing them.  The fear, in my experience, is what spurs the aggression.  Now, I have seen research that says it comes from boredom or jealousy and I completely see that as well.  But I believe their is something to the idea that girls fear losing their friends.

I remain unabashed in my love/need for Gossip Girl.

But here is my real question: how much of this behavior is coming from the messages they receive that this is what they are supposed to be like?

Research was done years ago, but is regularly repeated (like good research to make sure it’s still relevant and the work was done honestly), that showed the effects of setting negative expectations.  In the research, a classroom of boys and girls were given a math test.  In one group, the class was told that, in general, girls performed worse in math across the board, so to not feel bad if they do poorly or struggle on this test.  In the control group, they were told nothing.  Well, surprise, surprise, the girls in the first group performed worse on the test.  They absorbed the message they were given and lived up to it.  Now, if you are wondering, another set of research was done where boys performed similarly on a writing test.  The takeaway message:  people live up to the message they are given.  People want to feel normal, when we tell them what is normal, they do it.  This might be especially relevant for adolescents who are desperately searching for an identity, want to be accepted, and work very hard to be both unique and “normal.”  Can we apply this to the relationally aggressive behavior?

I hope you enjoyed this preview of my dissertation. 🙂