Don’t disappointment me, Phil!
June 6, 2012 Leave a comment
I just started reading Dr. Phil’s new book. Oh No!!! Don’t think like that!!!
You see, when I say Dr. Phil, I mean Dr. Phillip Zimbardo, of Stanford Prison Experiment fame. Not that douchey, pop-psuedopsychological twat on daytime TV. Gewwwrosss.
Anyway, this book is The Demise of Guys. I read the first chapter so far. And I have to say, as a girl who feels constantlyconstrained by having to “act like a professional woman,” I kinda want to be like “dude, quit your bitchin’.” I’m sure Phil won’t let me down. He starts off by talking about the poor stereotypes that face growing boys and themes they are sold, including Lombardi’s famous “Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.” (Ironically, I had the entire transcript of this speech in placard form in my bedroom as a child.) But, in my mind I feel myself being like screw you. You did it to yourself. You don’t even know the other side, so quit bitching.
I do completely recognize the negative impact of the hyper-masculine stereotypes that boys face. Real Boys did an awesome job of discussing this subject. And I do recognize that boyhood raises certain expectations and roles. But my vindictive little mind can’t help but think that men do this to themselves. I do not think that they would be reject by women if they break out of them. But male culture punishes any movement away from the either man-childish or Rambo stereotypes. I once read an article about “The new age of Stay-at-home dads.” The article was very positive and encouraging this, expressing that men were just as caring and instinctual about child rearing as women when they allow themselves to be. But I couldn’t stop myself from reading the comment sections, far too many of which were men stating that this was emasculating, that no woman would ever respect a man that did this, that these men were obviously gay, etc. After reading such a positive article, the comments were so discouraging.
But I have faith in you Zimmy! I hope that you will educate me more about male development and stigma. Being a lady, I can’t experience this myself, but I need to know. But I will most likely remain steadfast in my “Ha, fuck you boys! No you get to be screwed by society.” All the while knowing that society should not be screwing anyone and that being screwed over equally is the only kind of equality that seems to exist anymore.
(The Demise of Guys was also a TEDtalk and the book was co-written by Nikita Duncan, but she didn’t fit into my funny Dr. Phil/Dr.Phil thing. So, yeah, sorry Nikita.