April 13, 2012 Leave a comment
I am currently watching Office Space. I don’t know why I put this movie on; it was a terrible idea. I thought “hey I’ll watch office space and work on my Competency Exam!” This was a bad idea because I have no motivation to work to begin with, like, the other day I got 2 sentences written in 2 hours. That is how little I care about grad school right now. Now, as I watch Peter Gibbons, I see myself as a student. I just don’t care. I can’t be made to care. Every moment that I sit in class is the worst moment of my life. It’s not because I dislike my profs (despite previous posts) or that I don’t want to learn the material, I just hate it. I hate listening to other people talk just to hear themselves, the specific people that take over conversations, the learning of outdated material. Talking about HIV/AIDS related Dementia and mortality rates, the notes cited a study from 1995. I refuse to believe this has remained unchanged in 17 years.
I just had a terrible revelation. I think I’m Milton. Just keeping to myself and fantasizing about destruction.
It’s not even that I dislike my field. I just dislike what I’m forced to study. There are theories that I would love to learn more about, but are never addressed. I’ve recently been fascinated with Carol Gilligan. This will never be discussed in class. I taught myself Judith Rich Harris. Again, they will never discussed. I had a prof openly acknowledge that he was teaching outdated material that no one uses anymore, that the field has changed and the information was only historically relevant. But he did not supplement this with the new material!!!! WTF? I pay for these classes bitches! In all fairness, that prof has since been let go.
You know that scene where the boss at Chotchkie’s asks Jennifer Aniston’s character “You want to express yourself right?” and she has this concerned, confused, intimidated look and just nods. That is how grad school feels.
I’m probably going to regret writing this.